Circles
by starbuckfaerie21
Summary: Alex's thoughts go in circles.


Circles

 **Disclaimer:** Sadly I own neither _Saving Hope_ nor Daniel Gillies.

 **Pairing:** Joel & Alex (or if you prefer Alex & Joel)

 **Rating: T**

 **Summary:** Alex is lost in thought

Alex Reid had just put her son Luke and her daughter Charlotte on the bus to school and was getting ready to leave for the hospital with baby Theo in her arms when her cell phone rang.

"Hey Alex it's Zack. I just wanted to let you know that Joel's here."

"Already? He just left to go for his run. I'm leaving home now. Do you guys need me?"

"No, Alex that's not what I mean. I mean, Joel's _here_ in the E.R. He says he's fine but I just wanted to let you know…"

Alex froze and her breath caught in her throat, "I'll be there in less than ten minutes." She interrupted, hanging up the phone with shaking hands.

"Come on Teddy bear. Let's go make sure Daddy's all right." She said, trying to keep her voice calm so she wouldn't frighten her son.

"Daddy!" Theo shouted excitedly.

"That's right baby boy. We're going to go get Daddy."

Alex tried not to think of a million different scenarios as she went out to the car and strapped Theo in the car seat.

 _Joel._

She'd lived her life without him once before and it almost destroyed her.

 _I won't do that again._

 _I can't._

 _He'll be all right._

 _He'll be fine._

 _He has to be._

 _Joel._

 _I need my husband._

 _The kids need their father._

 _He's the love of my life._

 _Joel._

These anxious thoughts played on an endless loop in her mind as she drove to the hospital and her son drifted off into a peaceful sleep in the backseat.

She let out a cry of frustration as she turned into the crowded parking lot of Hope Zion and had to circle around it a second time before finding a space.

 _I need to be in there with my husband, not out here driving in circles._

Thinking of circles brought to mind the same thoughts that she'd been thinking ever since she'd gotten Zack's phone call.

 _Joel._

 _I love you._

 _The kids need you._

 _I refuse to lose you._

 _Please be all right._

 _Joel._

She parked the car and took the car seat out of the back by the handle so she wouldn't have to wake Theo.

She came through the doors of the emergency room and shouted, "Zack! Where is he? Where's Joel?"

As she came around the corner into the trauma bay, she heard his voice, and she let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. He was sitting on one of the beds in the trauma bay still wearing his running clothes.

"I'm right here, Reid. Some spectacular idiot drove up on onto the sidewalk while I was running. I managed to get him to stop before he hit me. I'm fine. I told Zack not to tell you…"

Joel couldn't go on because Alex's lips were pressed firmly against his. The hand that she wasn't using to carry the baby seat was on his chest over his heart, as if to reassure her that he was right in front of her.

 _Safe._

 _Whole._

 _Hers._

 _Joel._

He pulled away slightly so he could look in her eyes. He saw the panic and worry there and he reached out to brush her hair from her face, even as she whispered his name over and over again like a mantra.

"Joel…Joel…Joel…Joel…"

"Hey, I'm okay." He murmured against her lips giving her one of his trademark grins, and relishing the sensation of her lips against the mole behind his ear.

"I love you," She said softly, inhaling the familiar unmistakable scent that was Joel Goran.

He was still sweaty from the exertion of his run but she didn't care.

"I love you too, Doctor Reid." He replied.

And when she pulled away, she was in full doctor mode.

"Did you hit your head?" She asked, still not letting go of his hand.

"No. Alex, love, I'm fine." Joel said, attempting to get to his feet. But Alex held him back.

"Follow my finger with your eyes." Alex said raising her index finger in front of him.

"Alex, this is ridiculous. I don't have a concussion."

"If the roles were reversed you know you'd be doing the exact same thing. So Joel, baby _please_ , just humor me."

 _She was right._

"Yes ma'am I would."

"Okay, so let me finish this exam and then we can go home."

He raised his hands in mock surrender, knowing that she wouldn't give up until he agreed.

"What's your name?"

"Joel Goran."

"What day is it?"

Friday, October 23, 2015. My day off which I'd rather be spending at home with my wife."

At this Alex smiled, "Repeat these three numbers backwards, 27, 5, 12."

Joel rolled his eyes, as he replied, "12, 5, 27."

Alex nodded finally satisfied, "Promise you'll tell me if you have any headaches…"

"Headaches, double vision, or dizziness. I _am_ a doctor too. You know that don't you?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes I do know that, Doctor Goran I'm just covering all the bases and taking care of my husband."

"I'd expect nothing less Doctor Reid. And yes, I promise. Now let's go home."

Alex nodded still holding the baby seat in one hand and Joel's hand with the other as she followed him toward the door.

"Fine. But I'm driving."

"Yes ma'am." Joel agreed.

They were silent for a few moments until Alex spoke again, saying his name as if savoring the sound of it on her lips, "Joel…"

He turned to look at her as she finished securing the baby seat and got in on the driver's side. "Yeah?"

"I love you. You know that right?"

He leaned towards her and kissed her, and whispered, "Yeah, I know. I love you too, Alex."

"You really scared me today, Doctor Goran." She said, as she put the keys in the ignition and started the car.

 _That's how I feel every time something happens to her._

 _Or to one of the kids._

"My apologies, Doctor Reid. But I bet I know a way that I can make it up to you."

"Don't do it again. " She replied, still gripping his hand refusing to let go.

Joel chuckled, "Well that too. But I was thinking of something more along the lines of a dirty weekend."

This time it was Alex who laughed, "You're on, Doctor Goran." She replied, kissing him one last time before pulling out of the parking lot.


End file.
